


Give & Take

by Karieauthoress (ksrandomme), ksrandomme



Series: Receiving [2]
Category: The Sentinel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-27
Updated: 2009-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-19 11:07:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksrandomme/pseuds/Karieauthoress, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksrandomme/pseuds/ksrandomme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A morning after with all the understanding that these two men have always been capable of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give & Take

  


_Dark shadows, shapes in the moonlight… Heat, warmth… Soothing tones, words of love, and declarations of adoration… Soft strokes, rough pulling… Begging, pleading, muttering, screaming…_

  
Dreams led to waking and Blair’s eyes slid open to take in the scene before them. Early morning light streamed in from the windows and the soft sheets beneath him were warmed by the heat of the sun’s rays. Blinking slowly, he tried to figure out what was wrong. His brain seemed to be muddled and he worked at bringing his thoughts back into some sort of order. The light, the warmth… the snoring from the body next to him.

  
He was in bed with someone. Well, that was nice; he really hated to sleep alone most nights. But the light was coming from the wrong place and the bed seemed hauntingly familiar. He blinked again and gazed at the fabric of the sheets… it was a tight weave, well made… no bumps or pills to irritate sensitive skin. The color was a light blue which matched the blue and yellow comforter lying atop it. The sheets and comforter, even the pillows, were all soft and comfortable.

  
The light came from above him and also from the right… not like in his room. He glanced up and noticed a skylight in the ceiling. Suddenly his mind snapped.

  
 _Oh No! he thought. This can not be happening… how did I end up here? I couldn’t have… well, I could have but… this is either a very good dream or a very bad nightmare!_

  
He sat up slowly, pushing his hair back from his forehead and glancing over at the body lying next to him. Broad shoulders and tight muscles of the upper back could be seen. The sheet stopped midway of the teres major and teres minor muscles, leaving the rest of the body covered. The head was turned so that the face was away from him, but he recognized the short, dark hairs on the head. He hadn’t been hallucinating. _Damnit!_

  
Carefully so as not to awaken his bedmate, Blair slipped his legs and feet over the side, sitting on the edge and pulling his thoughts and memories together. Last night, he had come home to Jim sitting in the dark with a beer in his hand. There had been messages on the machine and Jim had said they were for him.

  
He remembered sitting at the table with his own beer… and Jim had made some remark about dating or not dating… not fucking, at any rate. So, he hadn’t been making like the proverbial dog humping the table leg lately. It’s not for lack of trying, all he had to do was snap and a dozen women, or men, would have been quick to fall in line. But he hadn’t been interested. Because let’s face it. Anyone could fuck on a regular basis, but it was someone special that you made love to.

  
And Blair was still waiting for that special someone to come and tell him that he had been noticed. He was tired of the meaningless. He wanted the straight _no pun intended_ , shoot from the hip, answer. He wanted meaningful. He wanted loving. He wanted understanding. He wanted something back. He had said something about this to Jim after he had deleted the messages and changed into something warm. _And isn’t it just like my Sentinel to notice I was cold and starting a fire for me? All I have to do is make the sounds of putting on some warm sweatpants and he takes it from there…_

  
And so, sitting on the couch, Blair had tried to talk about his troubles because Jim had asked and he seemed to be really interested in what Blair was feeling right then. And he seemed to get it through to Jim that he, Blair Sandburg was tired and feeling empty inside. Because he had already given as much as he could and there was really nothing left.

  
But then Jim had kissed him… and asked him to relax and let his Sentinel lead for the night. And he wanted to so badly. He wanted to let go and let someone else take the reins… so he did. For one night, he would let Jim lead. And the man did know how to lead. Dinner, a stir-fry cooked by Jim, fed to Blair on the couch, was followed by a relaxing bath and finished up with a comforting massage on the Sentinel’s bed.

  
And so finally, in the midst of the massage, Jim took the time to take Blair back to the beginning, having sex in the middle of the bed facing the full length mirror that Jim had left at the foot of the bed so that Blair could watch the Sentinel fuck him… make love to him… that’s what he had done. He had given Blair something last night. He had given him all the love he could put together in one huge dose and administered like a cure for the pain and loneliness that Blair had been feeling of late. And, gods, it had been so good to feel loved and wanted, really wanted.

  
Now, here he sat on the edge of a bed that he had longed to lay in for several years and he was shaking. He had been given exactly what he needed last night. But the thoughts still haunted him. He got what he wanted but would he be allowed to keep it? He didn’t think so. Glancing over his shoulder, he knew he had been caught when pale blue eyes stared back into his own indigo hues. _Oh shit…_

  
“Hey,” he called softly. Jim’s eyes wavered a bit before coming to focus fully on him.

  
“Hey,” came the reply. Blair watched as the Sentinel carefully rolled over in the bed, coming to lie on his side and staring fully at his Guide. “Sleep well last night?”

  
Blair thought a moment before replying. “Yeah, like a rock… you?”

  
“Mmm,” came the non-committal answer. The big man moved to sit up against the headboard, holding a hand out to Blair in a silent invitation. Blair slowly shook his head.

  
“I should… get downstairs now…” he glanced at the clock, noting the lateness of the morning and rubbing his cheek. “I need a shower and I have some things I need to do.”

  
Jim nodded silently, still holding out the one hand. Blair stared at it, waiting, not acknowledging it and yet knowing what was being asked. Finally he turned and made to stand up, to leave the bed and the room, to walk down the stairs and head for the bathroom. He had just braced his hands on either side of him to push off when a hand snaked out and snagged his wrist, pulling and tumbling him back into the bed. On top of Jim. He swallowed the automatic yelp of surprise and gazed deeply into his friend’s eyes.

  
“Jim, what are you doing man?” He tried not to gulp against the lump in his throat at the look of utter love and devotion he found in those blue eyes. “I got…”

  
“I know… you have things to do... I have paperwork waiting for me at the office.” Jim sounded so calm, so put together. He was not normally so articulate, but who was Blair to complain. “We have time to talk.”

  
Talk? Jim? Since when? “Talk about what?” Blair squeaked.

  
Jim chuckled lightly before leaning in to kiss his partner in the lips lightly, once, twice. “Talk about you, and me, and us.”

  
And now was the hard part. Talking about there being an ‘us’. Because to tell the truth, Blair didn’t see where there could be an ‘us’ or a ‘them’ or a ‘we’. And he wasn’t sure what this ‘us’ entailed. He knew that he was a guy in love with his roommate. He knew that Jim had done this sort of thing before, simply for the fact that he had asked Blair in the beginning and Blair had told him that it was alright. And Jim seemed to know exactly what to do. But now it was the morning after and Blair was happy, but missing something. It was all well and good to have the object of your affections return the love you wanted to share, but he was unsure about a few points. And he was afraid that the points in question, when they were spoken aloud, would reveal things he wouldn’t be able to live with.

  
And there be the rub.

  
He was happy with not knowing things that would make it difficult to live with Jim. He had been just fine before last night. When Jim had laid him out on his bed and fucked him so sweetly. But the question that Jim had asked…

  
 _“Blair? Have you ever… been with a man in that way?”_

  
He had answered in the affirmative and things had continued until the next question…

  
 _“Catcher or pitcher?”_

  
And he had answered softly, _“Both… not a problem, Big Guy…”_

  
And Jim had finished what he started; giving Blair just what he needed that night. Last night. But now the question came back to him… Catcher or pitcher? Did he like to be fucked or was he more the fucker in a relationship? Would he rather bottom or top? The answer was simple, the truth being that he liked both. Relationships were about giving and taking on both sides.

  
But Jim… well he was a big man and more of the dominate male in any relationship, Blair thought. Just look at the man and you could see it, testosterone leaking from every pore. True Alpha male in his most primal. And it looked sexy on the tall man. Very much so and Blair would know… he’d been watching Jim for a few years now. Now he was in bed with Jim, and he didn’t think that Jim would like what he was thinking at this moment. He had no trouble with giving and taking a good fucking... but could Jim?

  
And Jim was waiting for him to say something. And he realized with a start that he had been silent for far too long. So he knew he had to say something but all he could think about was Jim and his masculinity and if he could, would… _Jeez!_

  
“I don’t think there can be an ‘us’.” He sort of blurted this out and Jim’s eyes went wide for a moment. Blair squeezed his eyes shut. Damn, he had fucked up already and they hadn’t even gotten to the hard part yet! Jim’s calm voice slipped past his defenses.

  
“Why can’t there be an ‘us’?” he asked as he slid one hand up Blair’s arm to pull gently, making Blair more comfortable on his wide chest. Blair mulled the question over in his mind. He knew what he wanted to say but he wasn’t sure he could say it. He wasn’t sure what Jim would say in response. And this had always been a problem for him. As a scientist, his life consisted of thoughts and hypothesis that he tested and questions that he already suspected the answers to before he even asked them. And he felt sure he knew what Jim would say to him about the subject that was slowing their progression from two friends fucking to two lovers spending the rest of their lives together.

  
Jim cleared his throat gently and Blair realized he had been waiting too long again. His eyes snapped open and he nearly lost himself in the depths of Jim’s pale blue eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat and finally decided that he could only explain and let Jim make the decision after that. After all, this was not only Blair’s life that was becoming twisted after one night of sex. Jim’s life was in this as well. He pushed off from Jim, leaning back on his heels and staring down at his friend. He didn’t want to be comfortable. This wasn’t a comfortable conversation and one that was inevitable considering the way Blair felt about relationships.

  
“Remember what we talked about last night? About me giving all the time and getting nothing back?” He kept his eyes on his fingers draped across his thighs and settled himself in for a long talk. Jim reached out his hand and gently cupped Blair’s chin in his hand, lifting and forcing the young man’s eyes to meet his.

  
“Yes, I remember.” And Blair could almost see the self satisfied smile that graced his friend’s features. Yeah, Jim remembered… and he had liked it. And maybe he wanted to do it again. But Blair was concerned about other things.

  
“Well, you see… the thing is… what happened last night…” he trailed off as he tried to find the right words. Jim’s face went slack and Blair could feel his friend shutting down. “It was good man! Really good… Made me feel really loved, you know?”

  
And Jim’s smile slipped back up on his face. “I liked being able to give you that.”

  
Give… not take… give… he had given Blair something and Blair had taken it, after a fashion. It wasn’t complete though. It was only half the equation. “Yeah it was really nice…”

  
“But it wasn’t enough, was it?” Jim’s voice remained calm and reassuring when Blair had thought that it might become hard. After all, Blair was saying that Jim hadn’t given enough, even though what he had given was wonderful. Blair glanced away for a moment and noticed the mirror.

  
“It was really great, knowing that you were protecting me, loving me, caring for me… You think I’m beautiful.” His words faltered and he stumbled to a halt. Jim remained silent, waiting perhaps for more. But Blair knew that he wasn’t going to explain this right. No matter all the words he could use, it still wasn’t enough to explain what he felt when he let someone else take the driver’s seat. And then suddenly, there it was! The explanation that he could use.

  
“Jim, can I drive the truck?” An innocent question and one that he knew the answer to before he asked it. Jim’s reply was script and he repeated it by rote.

  
“Hell no! Why would you want to drive Sweetheart?” His voice was a little harsh and he must have recognized that because he quickly slipped a hand up behind Blair’s neck and pulled him around so they were face to face again. “You know I’m the one who drives most of the time, Blair.”

  
“Yeah, you drive… and in every relationship I have been in, be it man or woman, the other person is who drives. When I go out on a date, it’s to please the other person, every time.” Blair sat forward slightly. “Last night, when I was feeling down, you asked me to let you lead, to let you give me something… and I let you. I didn’t ask for anything, I didn’t give an opinion on anything.”

  
“Because I know what you would have wanted. And I gave it to you.” Jim’s face took on a bewildered look as his eyes narrowed and his brows drew together creating a crease in his forehead. Blair reached up a hand and gently smoothed the crease away, softly letting his fingers trail across the fine boned features of forehead and cheek before swiftly sweeping across the full bottom lip. The bewildered look was replaced with a more relaxed visage and Blair sat back on his heels again.

  
“Yes you know me. We’ve been living together for nearly four years, you know me very well now.” Blair’s eyes trailed down to the sheet that covered his friend’s lower torso and legs. He recognized the hardness in the vicinity of the groin and knew that Jim was becoming aroused by the tenderness that was being shown to him. “Remember what you asked me last night, just before we…”

  
“Before we…?”

  
Blair sighed. “Before we made love.” He watched as Jim’s features relaxed even further.

  
“I remember I asked you if you had ever… made love to a man before…” Jim sat back against the bed, watching Blair and appeared to be waiting patiently.

  
“I have never made love to a man before, Jim…I have fucked men before, but it was never love. Not like last night.” Blair explained. Jim smiled that self satisfied smirk again and Blair fought the urge to smack him with a pillow. “Okay, alright, you can come down off your high horse for now. I’m serious here.”

  
“So last night was sort of a first for you. Someone actually taking an interest in what you want to do rather than using you to get off…” Jim’s eyes caught and held Blair’s and suddenly the young Guide knew that his Sentinel understood a lot more than had previously been suspected. Blair let out a deep sigh.

  
“Yes, that was a first… But Jim, there is the other side of the coin. The other question you asked… Do you remember it?” Blair nervously began to twist the sheets beneath his fingers. Jim reached out and removed the sheet from his fingers and held his hands together in his lap, right above his naked cock. And he was only now realizing how comfortable he was with Jim that he could sit here naked in Jim’s bed and talk about the sex they had last night. Talk about odd. But now Jim was speaking again and Blair had to tune back in so as not to miss anything.

  
“I asked if you had been catcher or pitcher… you answered both… you have fucked and been fucked… but last night was the first time someone had made love to you…” and suddenly Blair knew that Jim had it all. The Sentinel gazed back at him with complete understanding in his eyes. “And you have never made love to anyone…”

  
“Yeah…” Blair answered. “And that’s not all.”

  
“All right, what else?" Jim prompted. Blair ducked his head with an embarrassed flush.

  
“You don’t seem the type… to um…” he trailed off again and then glanced up hopefully. When Jim didn’t appear to get the problem, Blair swept his eyes up and down the long, lean and hard body that was half hidden under the sheet. When his eyes returned to Jim’s the light of understanding flashed within yet again and Blair began to relax.

  
“I don’t seem the type to receive the gift that I give. Give and take, is that what you’re getting at here?” Jim’s smile was infectious and Blair couldn’t help but join him. “Is that the trouble? You don’t know if I can take what I dish out?”

  
Here Blair barked out a short laugh. “I didn’t exactly mean it like that man… well maybe I did… I mean, look at you. You are so… wow… and you could have anything you wanted… you could make love to any woman or man that you wanted. And, well, when most men see me, they don’t see anything like that.”

  
He pulled out of Jim’s arms again and turned to lean against the headboard next to his friend. “I have been fucked by men, I have fucked men, and I have fucked women… that seems to be all they want and I have had no trouble giving that to them. But now I want something real. Last night you made love to me and this morning I woke up and… well, I wasn’t sure what was going to come next.”

  
Jim sat up then and turned, facing Blair and turning his back on the mirror. “Blair, I decided last night that you had given more than enough to me to last a lifetime. You have given me your time, your friendship, your understanding and your love. Now it’s long past the time when you should be getting something back. Last night, I gave you the gift of my love.”

  
Reaching over the side of the bed, he picked up a tube and turned back to Blair, pressing it into his wide palm. Looking down, Blair found that it was the tube of lube that Jim had used on him last night. Bringing his eyes back up, he watched as Jim lay back on the bed, his head pointed to the foot of the bed and the mirror that still stood as silent witness to the two men’s actions. In a gentle voice, Jim called to him. “Now it’s time that you give me the gift of your love.”

  
And with those words, Jim spread his legs and watched Blair intently, inviting, offering himself up as a sacrifice to Blair’s carnal lust. The young man swallowed uncertainly. “Jim, I’ve never done this part before without being very drunk.”

  
As he sat up on his knees and settled himself between the other man’s legs, Jim calmly reassured him. “It’s all right, Blair. You can do this. It’s just like a woman. Only you need a little more than spit and promise.”

  
Blair laughed at this and slowly began to relax. Jim watched as Blair coated a finger with lube and advanced on Jim’s rosebud pucker. Gently, one finger only, he slid into the bigger man and waited as he heard the resulting sigh. “God, that feels good…” came the soft reassurance again.

  
“Yeah?” Blair asked, curiosity sparking.

  
“Don’t start analyzing this. Just keep going. Do what you like done to you.” Jim’s voice trailed off as Blair worked the one finger in and out of his tight hole.

  
“Okay man, I can handle that… ready for two?”

  
At a nod from his partner, Blair added a second finger, twitching and scissoring inside the tight passage and loosening the muscles that guarded the very center of pleasure for his friend. Soon there were moans and groaning from Jim and Blair knew that he was on the right track. During this time, Blair’s penis filled to capacity and he could feel the telltale signs that he was close to the edge. A third finger was soon joining the stretching of Jim’s passage. Both men were panting and sighing with complete relaxation, knowing what was coming next. Blair suddenly had the urge to kiss his partner and knelt up quickly, keeping his fingers working and twisting his hand gently.

  
As he leaned over his friend, his lips brushing Jim’s, his finger stroked over the nub of his prostate and sent forth several electrical shocks throughout the body beneath him. Jim’s eyes flew open and he focused on Blair leaning over him, inches away from kissing him. Blair felt two strong arms wrap around him, one hand in his hair and clasping the back of his neck gently. The other hand slipped down to wrap around Blair’s hardened cock, pumping it gently in time with his own hand that was still buried deep in Jim’s ass.

  
Gently, Blair leaned over and touched lips with Jim but there was hardly a response from his partner. He was about to say something when he realized that Jim was letting him take the lead. Blair was in the driver’s seat on this little ride. Thrilled beyond belief, he took Jim’s mouth fully, licking across his closed lips and seeking entrance into that warm haven. Jim opened quickly, inviting Blair in to play with his own tongue and the two devoured each other in mutual understanding. Jim wanted everything that Blair could give him… and he was giving all he had to his friend in return.

  
And Blair was more than willing to take it. Releasing Jim’s lips, Blair sat back a bit on his heels and reached over for the tube he had dropped on the bed. Jim held out a free hand and Blair smiled at him as he coated it with lube. Jim reached down with that hand and replaced it on Blair’s cock and prepared him to take everything he ever wanted. Blair sighed as he thought of how it might feel in a moment to take his friend in this way. Jim smiled and pulled Blair closer again, waiting until Blair had removed the fingers from his ass before coaxing his cock into place.

  
“Jim,” he sighed. And Jim nodded. Leaning forward, Blair began to slide his hard sex into Jim’s waiting hole. He wasn’t sure if he should go slow or fast and he was about to ask, when he caught sight of Jim, watching him, holding his breath and waiting for him. Again he sighed and with a swift push slid all the way home. Jim released the breath he had been holding in one mighty rush. They held still for a moment, taking time and panting lightly. “So far so good.”

  
Jim chuckled. “Blair, with you it can be nothing but good.”

  
Blair’s eyes misted up a bit when he heard this. Nothing but good with him? Really? Wow, that just… totally blew him away. He kept his eyes on Jim’s as he slid forward, covering the lean, hard body beneath him. His hands on either side of Jim’s head, he looked down into the face of his friend, his beloved, his Sentinel. “I’ll always try to make it good for you, Jim.”

  
“You don’t have to try for something that you can do by instinct.” And with those words Blair felt the muscles of Jim’s ass tighten around his dick. Blair smiled and began to move. Slowly at first, but steadily building up speed with every thrust. Jim kept time with him, humping up as Blair thrust down and soon the rhythm was set. Both of them rushing to a spectacular climax together. Blair shifted to move a hand down to Jim’s cock, hot and hard against his stomach but Jim’s hand on his wrist stopped him quickly.

  
“Like this… I know you can do it like this… Just… with… this…” and he turned his attention back to feeling what Blair was giving him. And Blair smiled as he shifted back and tilted his pelvis slightly, striking that one elusive spot after a couple of tries. And it was so good now. So right… Heat, warmth… Soothing tones, words of love and declarations of adoration… Soft strokes, rough pulling… Begging, pleading, muttering, screaming… And Blair looked up to see himself in the mirror, fucking Jim… making love to Jim… and when he looked down at Jim’s face, it was like looking into the face of love, and then Jim came…

  
And Blair came on the heels of Jim’s release, muscles milking him to completion and taking everything he had to give. Giving back everything he could take. And finally it was enough. He knew he had everything he could ever want now. He had Jim and he had love. And afterwards, when he had cleaned Jim and himself of the cum and lube that had been used and spilled and they had both curled back up under the sheets, Blair wrapped around Jim like a second skin. He fell asleep, knowing that all was right finally. He didn’t have to try anymore. He had his heart’s desire.


End file.
